Playing With Dick and Jane

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Stay Tuned

Posted on Monday 20 October 2008

We’re not going away - in fact, it looks like things could potentially be heating back up. We’re in the process of changing web hosts, but there shouldn’t be any downtime.

I’ve got some new stuff to write about. Even though we haven’t seen her for a very long time, Susan has dropped out of the sky and we’re planning to meet up with her very soon for drinks.

Who knows what will come of it, but our friendship has definitely been rekindled recently.

Stay tuned - more to come very soon. Promise!

Dick @ 9:20 pm
Filed under: General and Threesome and Unicorns
We’re not dead…

Posted on Saturday 5 July 2008

though you wouldn’t know it from the total lack of posting over the last six months.

Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way of our new “lifestyle” and we haven’t had any action to speak of since my last post. My job continues to keep me extremely busy and Jane is feeling very self-conscious about the 10-15 pounds of weight she put on over the winter and spring, which really puts a damper on her willingness to play.

New Year’s Eve didn’t happen and, even though we’re still in touch with Susan on occasion, nothing is really happening on that front either (for now).

We’ve taken down our ads on the various swingers sites and have settled back into our good ol’ rut of fucking every Saturday night when the kid is at her parents’ house.

yay.

If anything, our experiences have shown us one thing: We don’t have it that bad with just the two of us and that we don’t need to add other people to our bed to spice things up.

Well, that and having a girlfriend is hard work! Jane didn’t believe me when I told her how difficult it was to woo (and keep) a woman interested in you. My cock, as magnificent as it is (LOL), is not the end-all and be-all.

The most disappointing thing about it is all the work I put into this blog and the audience we were starting to grow before we fell of the face of the earth.

So, what are we going to do about that?

Since we’re not playing now, is there a reason to keep posting?

Is there an audience out there who will be entertained by the (sort of) vanilla exploits of an average suburban couple? Do you really want to hear about my sexy MILF neighbor’s constant flirtation with me and the fact that I’m unable to do anything about it?

Do we shift the focus of the blog to more general couples’ issues, porn and sex toy reviews?

Would any of you read my drivel over (or in addition to) the superior content that you can get from more popular sex bloggers like AAG or Alex & Suzanne?

Where do we go from here? There is always the chance that Jane will get the itch to play again and we could continue where we left off. Of course, there’s an equal chance that nothing comes of it.

Is there anybody still out there reading this? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

-Dick

Dick @ 10:58 am
Filed under: General
Work, Dick. Work!

Posted on Saturday 1 December 2007

Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but a combination of a new job, the holidays and nothing much new to write about have drastically reduced the amount of time I’ve been able to devote to this blog.

Fear not, dear reader. Regular posting will commence again very soon. Susan will be visiting again in the next couple of weeks and I’m getting things under control at work, so new material is soon to follow. :)

If this is your first visit (and you want the whole story), I always suggest you start at the  beginning. If you just want the hot stuff, this is where you want to go.

Humble thanks from both of us for your continued patronage,

-Dick & Jane

Dick @ 6:40 pm
Filed under: General
Sugasm #106

Posted on Friday 23 November 2007

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #107? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
5 Advanced Deep Throat Techniques
“Suck your man’s penis into your throat, and, while it is deep in, start to hum.”

MILF = Men I’d Like to Fuck
“He knows my body p e r f e c t l y and knows exactly how to make me squirm with pleasure and always knows the right thing to say.”

Reconciling Desire & Reality (part 2)
“The excitement of sharing her, the excitement of my arousal THEORETICALLY should mean a heightening of our own sex life.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Our fearless leader tells me he’s crazy busy so I’m presenting one from the vaults.
The Six Types of Porn Movie (and How To Get Into Them)

Editor’s Choice
Primed

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex News & Reviews
The End of the Mile-High Club
Fetish Film - Squealer (BSDM, Master, Shibari)
My controversial, nipple-baring Dirty Girls book cover
NEW Culture Shocking Designs!
Sex Toy Review: Mini Bullet One Touch Vibrator

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Am I born as a Whore?
Floral HNT
He’s Horny and She’s Easy
The Humble Handjob
I’ll assume i’m on the naughty list
Minus One
Obsessive Compulsive Slut
Re-discovering myself
So, doc, when can we…
Virgin Extraordinaire

Sex Poetry
Now and Zen

BDSM & Fetish
The **** machine
Erotica: Mind Games
Generic Pussy?
Get the contract signed- part two: vital lessons
Just a Few Naked Pics of Amy’s Perfect Body
Naked Service
What a Saturday
What is a Daddy Dom? Pt. 2

Sex Advice
Six ways from Sunday - Cowgirl (reversed or otherwise)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Bad Girl
Betrayal
Dark Cold Moons
Dichotomy
Halloween
Icing on the Cake
Like Me
The Main Course
Multi-tasking
Second Time Around
Sex Party in the Hood
Stressed Wanking

Sex Humor
Fuck’n Fun
Untitled No. 1

Sex Work
Reality Check: Eating Food

NSFW Pics & Videos
Day trip to porno town
Hannah Hilton Sexy Bikini pics
Lisa wants a spanking
Sanctum
Self-portrait in Boots
A Hot Femdom / Slave Boy Strap-On Scene

Dick @ 10:47 am
Filed under: Sugasm
Encounter 3, Part II: How to Properly Fuck a Unicorn

Posted on Tuesday 20 November 2007

Please make sure you read Part I: The Seduction of Susan so you know what the heck is going on.

My mind is racing. My stomach is in a knot. Jane and I are about to get what we have wanted all along.

It’s all a bit much, I’ll tell you.

I walk up the stairs to join the girls and am secretly hoping they are already going at it, but am disappointed when I walk in and find them both sitting on the bed Indian-style, talking. Being the consummate host, I ask if either of them need anything and if they would prefer to watch some porn, listen to music or both.

They like option C, so I hook up my iPod and cue up my special “Bootie Banging Tunes” playlist.

I realize that I am tragically unhip. It’s OK to laugh.

I fire up some tasteful, high-class erotica on the DVD player and move over to join the girls on the bed. They both lean back and start watching the movie.

The vibe is just right as I lean over and start rubbing Jane’s thigh, gently tracing the seam of her jeans from her knee to her crotch.

Pretty soon, I can see Jane is about to burst. The anticipation is killing her and so she just takes off her shirt and bra and puts it all out there.

“I couldn’t take it anymore,” she squeals and leans over and gives me a deep, passionate kiss.

She and Susan then start kissing and I just sit back and enjoy the show. I try not to interfere too much at this point, other than helping the girls disrobe and kind of wandering around with my hands a little bit.

They are totally into each other and I step back for a moment while Jane finishes undressing Susan and starts sucking on her enormous breasts. Jane is naked and Susan is down to just her panties and they are grinding on each other and making out.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Susan is keenly aware of Jane’s previous disappointing experiences with Sally and is intent on showing her what it’s all about. She lays Jane down on the bed and straddles her, kissing down her body stopping to focus on her tits and then, of course, her smooth, wet slit.

I lay down next to the girls and start kissing Jane and playing with her tits while Susan is eating her out.

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” I whisper to my wife, who is writhing and moaning as Susan works her into a frenzy.

“Yes!” she yells/says.

I don’t know if she was answering me or not. Either way, it was the right answer.

Susan continues working Jane’s pussy while I strip down – I already had my shirt off, but wanted to get a little closer to the unclothed state of the girls. I lay back down next to Jane and Susan reaches over and starts rubbing my already hard cock through my underwear while she’s licking Jane’s pussy.

“I think we need to properly welcome our new friend,” I say to Jane, who readily agrees.

We both immediately turn to Susan and lay her down on the bed. I slide her very cute, pink panties off and move up to her left, with Jane on the right. Jane gives Susan a big kiss and I do the same. Her lips are still coated in Jane’s juices and I can taste my wife all over our new lover.

So.

Fucking.

Hot.

We each grab a tit and start licking and sucking. I start rubbing around on Susan, cupping her ample breast in my left hand and gradually working my way down to her pussy. Jane has other ideas and has already started to move down in between Susan’s legs.

My wife likes licking pussy.

Excellent.

I move up and start kissing Susan while Jane goes to town on her clit. I can’t really see what she’s doing, but Susan starts moaning pretty soon and it’s obvious that Jane has some talent when she brings her to a shuddering orgasm.

I’m so proud…

While Jane continues slurping away, I move my hand down and pull the skin around Susan’s pussy tight, making her clit protrude so Jane can get a nice angle on it. I can feel Jane’s tongue wiggling around on Susan’s clit as I rub around on it with my fingers.

I move down and tell Jane that I’d like to join her, if she doesn’t mind. We attempt the logistically impossible task of simultaneous cunnilingus on Susan and eventually Jane just moves out of the way.

Her tongue was getting tired anyway, she told me later.

Amateur.

I move in and start licking Susan, sucking her clit into my mouth and tonguing it as hard as I can. She is very wet and is writhing around on our bed, overtly enjoying the attention.

Susan has another orgasm and, after recovering, moves over to lavish Jane with more attention. She lays Jane down on the bed and straddles her face, then leans down, moving into a sixty-nine.

I am momentarily left out of the circle, but this is scene I could watch for hours.

Note to Self: Next time, set up video camera.

I walk over and grab a quick belt from my cocktail, take off my underwear and rejoin the girls.I start rubbing Susan’s ass while she rides my wife’s face, then commence rubbing around on both of them. Susan sits up and grabs my cock, then takes it into her mouth while I kneel next to them, trying to angle it so she doesn’t have to bend over too awkwardly to take me in.

I do everything I can to accommodate…

After about thirty seconds of that, Susan hops off of Jane and the girls both eye me.

“There’s someone here who hasn’t gotten any attention from us,” says Jane, who apparently did not see Susan inhaling my cock moments earlier.

Who am I to object?

The girls both lean over and start taking turns sucking my cock and balls. One girl is on each side and they both simultaneously start sucking the sides of my dick together, from base to tip.

My brain explodes in a starburst of color and light. I look down and can’t believe my eyes.

This is the part I wanted.

I think I’m going to pass out.

+++

I think too much.

That’s quite apparent if you’ve read any of my previous posts about group/public sex. Once my mind starts racing, it enters this vicious cycle of shame, guilt, embarrassment and the feeling that I’m betraying my wife.

I don’t have any problems when it’s just Jane and me – I never have.

It doesn’t matter that Jane is sitting right there rooting me on – some twisted Puritan morality has invaded the inner reaches of my brain, forcing me to hyper-analyze every move I make, worrying that what I’m doing is somehow “wrong.”

I can’t explain it (and it’s getting better), but it’s clear that I have some “issues” when it comes to sex with more than one person or being watched while I’m having sex.

The scientist in me hypothesizes that when my fantasies become reality, my stupid monkey brain gets overloaded and simply shuts things down as a part of some warped defense mechanism.

The fact that my brain betrays me when it should be embracing the event at hand is quite frustrating. Luckily, it hasn’t ruined any encounters yet.

Especially when it feels every bit as good as I always imagined it would.

+++

Jane and Susan are both sucking me simultaneously and then taking turns inhaling my manhood. My brain is so overwhelmed with pleasure and excitement that I lose it.

Fuck! Why can’t I just relax, let this happen and enjoy it?

Well, I am enjoying it immensely. Though, you wouldn’t know it to look at me.

I need to step away and regroup.

“Um sorry ladies, I need to take five. What can I say? I’m a head case,” I sarcastically state and Susan laughs out loud.

I head downstairs for a few minutes, take a hit from my pipe and light a cigarette. I make myself take ten deep, relaxing breaths to focus my mind on the task at hand. I put my smoke out after only a couple of hits.

I’m ready now.

I head back upstairs to join the girls and they are so into each other that they are practically oblivious to my return.

I spot an opening and dive in under Jane, who is sitting up on her knees. I pull her hips down on my head and start eating her out from below while Susan and Jane both play with my cock and balls, quickly moving me from a semi-aroused state to fully erect in a matter of seconds.

Susan takes me into her mouth and starts bobbing her head up and down on my cock. I am concentrating on licking Jane’s pussy, but my raging hard on (and the attention it’s receiving) are pushing me to the edge very quickly.

I extract myself from underneath Jane and ask, “Who wants to fuck?”

They look at me like I’m stupid.

They both want to fuck.

Decisions, decisions…

Jane is apparently feeling charitable (or she just enjoys watching me fuck other girls) and pushes me towards Susan, stating, “I want to watch you fuck her.”

Never let it be said that I don’t take direction very well in the bedroom. I grudgingly open a condom and roll it over my rigid pole. Susan lies down on her back and I position myself between her legs.

Jane grabs my sheathed cock and inserts it into Susan’s soaking wet pussy.

Talk about surreal…

Susan gasps and her mouth forms a little “O” as I enter her. The “O” face quickly becomes a wide smile as I start plowing into her, fully extracting and pushing deep into her with each stroke. I start fucking Susan hard and rhythmically and Jane kisses me hard, forcing her tongue into my mouth.

“Yeah baby, make those big titties bounce around,” growls Jane.

I do my best to oblige my wife, fucking Susan as hard and fast as I can. Jane starts rubbing all around on my chest and stomach, reaching down to tickle Susan’s clit while I slide in and out.

I lean down and kiss Susan passionately, grabbing her shoulders from underneath and pulling down firmly with each thrust. I feel her tense up and start moaning – I’m doing something right. I position myself so I have a good angle on her G-spot and start working it with the tip of my cock. Susan starts rocking back and forth and starts shaking as her eyes roll back into her head.

Jane starts playing with my balls and teasing my perineum and asshole from behind with her fingers, which are still wet from rubbing around on Susan’s pussy.

If she doesn’t stop that soon, this isn’t going to last long…

Jane stops her digital assault on my nether regions for a moment, until she replaces her fingers

With her tongue.

Ho-ly shit.

Jane starts licking and teasing my perineum and sucking my balls from behind. Suddenly, I feel her wet tongue on my asshole and just about lose it right there – it feels so incredible.

She’s done the ass-licking thing for me before (and I have loved it every time), but to feel that while my cock is buried in Susan’s pussy is completely and utterly mind-blowing.

My wife is a dirty, dirty girl.

God, I love her so much.

The overwhelming sights, sounds, sensations and smells are almost too much for me, but the condom is cheating me from feeling everything I want. And what I want is to feel some wet pussy wrapped around my cock.

I need to fuck Jane. Now.

I withdraw from Susan and rip off the condom, tossing it into the trash can next to our bed. Jane positions herself between Susan’s legs, sticks her ass up in the air and starts licking our guest’s pussy again. I slide into Jane from behind, relishing the skin-on-skin contact with that sweet pussy I have had the pleasure of pleasuring for as long as I can remember.

Sweat is dripping into my eyes and running down my back as I pound Jane from behind. Each stroke shoves my wife’s face into Susan’s clit, harder and harder with each thrust.

I am literally about to collapse from exhaustion. I am soaked with sweat, can taste two pussies on my goatee and, even though I’ve been so close to orgasm a couple of times tonight, I’m not going to be able to keep up this pace without my heart exploding.

Pleasing two women is not easy! It’s certainly gratifying, but is definitely not for the faint of heart.

I can fuck no more and finally crumple in a sweaty heap on Jane’s back. I manage to semi-gracefully roll off to the side, my muscles fatigued, chest heaving and heart racing. Sweat races down the side of my face and chest and onto the soft cotton sheets.

I look over and both girls are pretty much doing the same thing as me - catching their breath.

“Wow,” Susan gasps, “You two really know how to treat a girl right!”

“My tongue is so sore right now,” says Jane, “I have a new respect for men – licking pussy is hard work!”

“Wait until tomorrow. It will hurt even more,” answers Susan, knowingly.

If I’m lucky, she won’t be able to talk at all. ;)

I look at them incredulously.

“Did you think pleasing a woman is easy? My tongue is the strongest muscle on my body! You just need more practice, baby,” I laughingly reply.

“Well, she’s welcome to practice on me anytime,” says Susan, leaning over to kiss Jane.

“That was pretty damn incredible, if you can forget about me being a fucking head case!” I laugh and the girls join in.

“We definitely have to do this again,” I state.

All three of us eagerly agree. This is something I could see happening on a regular basis.

We have been going at it for nearly two hours and it’s getting late. Susan sits up and eases out of bed. She heads for the shower and Jane cuddles up next to me on the bed.

“Baby, that was awesome,” she coos into my ear.

“It was unbelievable! Did you get what you wanted this time?” I ask.

“Oh yes. Now I get what this is all about,” she replies.

I kiss Jane passionately and my dick starts to rise again. I didn’t get to cum – again. :(

I guess I have something to shoot for on our next play date: Have an orgasm!

Susan returns from the shower as we’re dressing. We talk for a few minutes before Susan says that she needs to go.

We walk our new lover down the stairs and help her gather her things. Jane and I each kiss and hug her warmly as she departs and tell her we hope to see her soon.

And believe me; we want to see her again very soon.

Susan drives away and I turn to my wife, looking for that opening that says she will let me get mine tonight.

Thirty minutes later, I empty my load into Jane’s very wet, very red, very sore pussy.

I told you it was all in my head.

Next: Things for Which I am Thankful

Dick @ 6:56 am
Filed under: Sex and Swinging and Threesome and Unicorns