After copiously researching everything I could get my hands on, I had some bad news for Jane: Single bisexual females are so hard to find that they are referred to as “unicorns” in the swinger community.

Because everyone wants a unicorn and they are very, very rare.

A quick glance over the mw4w Casual Encounters on Craigslist confirmed it: There were a shitload more people like us out there than there were women looking for people like us.

mw4w listings: about 400
w4mw listings: 3

Of course, to most folks in the lifestyle, this is common knowledge. You may all chuckle quietly to yourselves now.

Feel better?

We were naive.

We didn’t understand how naive until the responses to our ads started coming in.

Everything we got was from couples. It was like they just skimmed over the part of our profile that clearly stated we weren’t interested in swapping, just looking for a girl, no single guys, etc.

And in a shocking development, no unicorns were actively seeking us out.

But the couples? They were drooling like starving hyenas circling the watering hole.

What we didn’t realize was that because there were so many couples that wanted to add another woman to the mix, there wasn’t another option other than hiring a hooker (eww) or swinging.

And swinging means that if you want to have a threesome with (or fuck) some dude’s wife, he’s gonna want to do the same to yours.

I had a problem with this.

Don’t get me wrong, I realize that it this a fair arrangement, but it was not one I was willing to make. That was my wife and I wasn’t sharing her with some other guy.

Another girl? Sure.

So, we would wait until we found what we wanted. Knowing that a bad experience could potentially ruin this whole scenario, and knowing that she really wanted a girl to play with, we patiently worked on trying to find the right woman for us.

Still, the emails from couples kept right on coming.

And we were cordial - we chatted and traded emails and pics, but really weren’t interested in swapping. We were getting pressured to meet, pics left and right and we just passed on everything.

We wanted what we wanted and weren’t going to settle just to break our cherry.

Like I said, we were naïve.

+++

My wife is hot - and quite the exhibitionist. She’s definitely no stick figure and she still has a few pounds leftover from her pregnancy, but she’s got great curves and perfect D tits. Who wants a little waify thing anyway? I prefer some extra padding, personally.

I used to have a problem with her flaunting her body (even around me!), but I’ve learned to accept that she enjoys it and just go with it now. It’s easier and way sexier.

Me? Well, let’s just say I have a healthy dose of shame and guilt and some minor body issues, even though I really have nothing to be ashamed about. I’m a little on the sexually repressed side for the most part, but am happily expanding my horizons (finally).

I’m a pretty good looking guy - I’m no model, but I’m certainly not hard on the eyes. It only took me 33 years, but I can finally grow a decent goatee, which helps me look older than 17.

I have always had a baby face - very few people who just meet me think I’m actually 36. I don’t look it, in spite of the gray creeping in around my temples. I certainly don’t act it.

I’m 5′10″ and 160lbs. and very well endowed. I’m not bragging, it’s just true. I joke that the rest of my body is really nothing but life support for my cock. Once someone sees it, they usually agree.

I’m what some would call wiry - just don’t call me skinny.

And that’s arguably the root of my body issues - I used to be really skinny. Like 5′10″, 115 pounds skinny when I graduated from high school. Like ribs and hip bones sticking out skinny.

Like, concentration camp skinny.

Well, not that skinny, but you get the point. It gave me bit of an inferiority complex through my teens that I never really got over. I was a late bloomer and never felt like I really, truly bloomed.

In my freshman year of college, I started working out a lot and put on about 25 pounds of muscle in 6 months. I was in the best shape of my life, but I still didn’t think I was anything more than an 85 pound weakling.

But I was hot – and the ladies noticed. And I got laid a lot. And it was great! And then I got a girlfriend and then you knows what happens after that…

So, I’m a little softer around the middle than I was back then, but my muscles are still defined and I don’t look bad naked. I feel bad naked, but I certainly don’t look bad, according to Jane.

Nakedness makes me feel exposed. I don’t like feeling exposed.

But still, to this day, I don’t like taking my shirt off in public. I definitely don’t like being naked in front of other people. Hell, I don’t even like fucking in front of the dog!
</self pity>

Jane is quite the opposite. We had taken some topless shots of her and posted them (discreetly) to the personals site we joined. And the responses started pouring in.

“I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance!” I exclaimed one night after reading several new messages from potential partners.

“Even though it’s my tits that are luring them in?” she asked.

“Especially because of those tits!” I replied.

Ahhh, those tits. I love my wife’s breasts - I can lick and suck on them for hours. My goal is to die snuggled up between those two sweater puppies.

Apparently, I’m not alone.

So we traded emails, pics and chatted with a few other couples, got rejected by a couple of unicorns and finally threw in the towel.

“Maybe we should just go to a swinger’s club. There’s one about 20 minutes away. We can probably find a not-so-nice girl there,” she said one evening.

Turns out, the club had an online forum that the members visited, talked about the events and posted pictures. We joined and (of course) posted Jane’s pictures. We told them we were planning on coming to the club in a couple of weeks.

Well, that certainly garnered us some attention - we would spend hours on the computer every night just fending off the onslaught of instant messages and emails from other club members.

The die was pretty much cast at this point. We were going to a sex club.We were diving headfirst into this brave new world and it was pretty overwhelming.